


It just takes time

by Alexei2020



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, Parent Pepper Potts, Parent Peter Parker, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker-centric, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26085442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexei2020/pseuds/Alexei2020
Summary: Peter is left alone in the world. He's lost everything. His last family, his best friends, his mentor.Pepper has lost everything too. It's amazing how so much grief and sorrow can turn into something beautiful and worth fighting for.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Pepper Potts
Comments: 6
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

Dying doesn’t seem too bad, after watching your mentor disappear in front of you. It's actually kind of welcomed after spending three weeks on a spaceship aimlessly drifting through the stars.

Peter is so tired of all this. Losing. At every corner there’s something to lose. There’s always something his sticky fingers can’t hold on to. A backpack in the alley, a sneaky thief, his parents, his uncle, the cute girl in school. 

And now, as he’s about to lose the last bit of air too, with no way of winning, and no way of knowing if his last living relative or best friend is a pile of dust or waiting for him at home, he thinks that perhaps, maybe closing his eyes for the last time, losing the absolute last thing, utterly alone, staring at the void he used to seek guidance from, it isn’t so bad after all.

#

He doesn’t close his eyes for the last thing. The bright light and the beautiful woman in front of him makes sure of that. Peter has never been religious, but his brain is scrambling for some kind of logical explanation, and the only thing he can come up with is that she’s an angel. Sent to save him or help him into the land of the dead and forgotten. He doesn’t care which, at this point. As long as she takes him somewhere.

Her name is Carol Danvers, it turns out. From earth. And an accidental freak just like him. Maybe in some other universe they could be friends. But Peter doesn’t want any new friends right now. He’s lost everything he can possibly lose at this point. Adding things he can’t keep in his grasp feels pointless.

May and Ned and MJ are gone. Mr. Stark is gone. Steve Rogers, surprisingly, is back. Like he can just waltz in and claim his old spot now that Mr. Stark isn’t here to fend for it. 

Peter would do it, in his honour. But he doesn’t see the point. It’s not like he’s planning to stick around and possibly bump into the guy anyway.

He needs to get home. If he even has a home anymore. He needs a job. He needs to get back to college. He needs many things, butting heads with former avengers is not on that list.

#

Tony Stark left him money. Peter wants to scream and punch the guy. Money won’t fix anything.  _ Asshole _ . Pepper is too stubborn to allow Peter any moment to return them. Or maybe he just doesn’t have the energy to fight her for it.

He buys an apartment. A two-bedroom brick box with a skylight that wakes him up early enough to get to class on time. It’s not like he has anything else to do with his time anymore. He was never much of a social person before, but he had his usual Lego-building sessions with Ned, facetime appointments with MJ, dinners with May. Lab time with Mr. Stark. 

He doesn’t have any of that, now. And taking on the suit to play the hero feels like the world's biggest bluff. So he studies. And reads. And studies some more. He keeps his grades up, stays months ahead of everyone else, and does his best. It’s the least he can do. It’s the only thing he’s confident in doing.

His life isn’t much, but it’s all he’s got. It’s all he deserves.

#

He ignores the incoming calls from the various avengers. He figures they’ll take the hint eventually. He didn’t hang out with them before, didn’t know them, he wasn’t a part of the team. He’s not about to start now.

The calls do stop, after a few months. But then one morning, still half asleep and almost late (because the sun doesn’t feel like getting up in the winter, either), he almost runs into Pepper when he yanks open his front door.

She looks just as strong and beautiful as always. Even hidden away in a winter coat that looks two sizes too big on her slim body.

“Hey Pete. Can I come in?”  _ No _ . He thinks.  _ I have classes _ , he wants to say. 

He steps aside and she swoops past him in one elegant move.

“Coffee?” is all his not-yet-awake brain can come up with. This woman has absolutely nothing to do in his apartment, and he can't find any good reason for her to show up. They haven’t talked since he came back. Except the almost-not-quite argument about Mr. Starks will. 

Pepper wants tea. So, Peter shrugs off his coat and toes off his shoes to make tea. 

She wanders around his brick box while he boils the water, but she doesn’t say anything. She picks up a book, pretends to read it, closes it and moves on. Peter doesn’t know what to do with this very important woman who casually walks around in his safe zone. She looks so out of place, and her whole being is screaming that she would rather be anywhere else. She hasn’t even taken off her coat.

“What can I do for you, Ms. Potts?” He places her steaming cup of green tea on the coffee table, intentionally just a little too harsh to get her attention away from the empty wall.

“You don’t have any pictures.” Which – yeah. Not even close to answering his question. He cocks his eyebrow at her, and dumps down in his armchair, tucking his knees to his chest. “How are you?” She tries instead, sitting down politely on the couch, reaching for the cup.

“Fine.” He is fine. Totally. He’s moving forward. Working on his degree and trying really hard not to look back. It’s not working with his mentor’s on again/off again girlfriend sitting in his living room.

“What about you?” She looks good at least. There’s a glow to her that he doesn’t recognize, and she smells different. Sweeter. But she looks healthy.

“I’m fine. Pete...” oh. Oh no. That tone. It’s the worried parent tone Peter is so used to from May. He can’t help it, his senses take over and he strains his ears just to get a whiff of the familiar worried-parent heartbeat. 

He does a double take and narrows his eyes at her for a second. Watches as realization washes over her.  _ You can take your coat off. I know _ .

“Congratulations.” He blurts out, and she looks startled for a second, but then her shoulders relax a little as a small smile tugs on her lips.

“Thank you.” Peter suddenly wants to offer to help. The sweet unfamiliar smell is invading him, making him dizzy, and he doesn’t understand what’s happening. But he won’t offer help. She’s clearly moved on, and probably has someone to take care of her. 

It doesn’t explain why she’s in his apartment this early on a Wednesday morning. “It’s Tony’s.” It still doesn’t explain anything. It’s not Peter’s business. It has absolutely nothing to do with him.

“Why are you here, Pepper?”

“People are worried about you. About Spider-Man. He’s been gone since the snap, and the public may think he turned to dust, too, but I know you Pete. You don’t give up. What happened?”

“I’m not a hero. I lost.” He wraps his arms around himself. Just thinking about this is too much. Being forced to talk about it feels like getting his heart ripped out.

Pepper is suddenly standing over him, hands cupping his cheeks, and watery eyes staring at him. “We lost honey,” she says. In that gentle whisper that makes his own locked away feelings burst from their prison like fireworks. It’s all too much, and it all spills over.

She drags him over to the couch and cradles him while he cries. The chanting words of ‘it’s okay’ and ‘you’re gonna be fine’ and ‘you’re enough, honey’ is ringing in his ears the whole time. Her long, manicured fingers are carding through his messy curls and she kisses his forehead.

It’s so overwhelming, and Peter is hit with the longing of that intimacy. He didn’t even know he needed it.

#

Pepper starts showing up every week after that. Sometimes they sit tangled together and cry, other times they order take away and watch movies. They talk about Peter’s studies and Pepper’s concerns about raising the baby alone. It’s easy, and they stay clear of any hurtful themes. 

She forces him away from his studies to go shopping for everything the baby may or may not need.

#

The first genuine, happy smile that appears on Peter’s lips is caused by a grainy ultrasound picture. He has never seen something as beautiful as that in his entire life.

#

They still avoid the topic of the lost ones, it’s still too hard to talk about, but Peter can’t help but feel a little grateful about everything that happened when he’s looking down at the beautiful little girl sleeping peacefully in his arms and the exhausted, yet relieved look on his best friend in the medical bed beside him.

He still has problems thinking this is a reality he gets to be a part of. The little girl with chubby hands and dark hair is a spitting image of her father, and Peter thinks there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make sure she grows up happy. He’ll protect her with his life. It’s the least he can do after failing her dad.

#

Pepper moves to a cabin on the other side of the lake from the avengers compound upstate. Peter never thought he would see Pepper shy, and he can’t help the fond smile that creeps up his face when she asks if he’d like to come with her to help with Morgan. “Of course.”

#

He gets his own room, and Peter thinks maybe rich people have different terminology than the general public. The cabin is more like a small castle. But he gets the room next to Morgan, so he can calm her down in the middle of the night. Pepper needs her sleep. It can’t be easy running a company as big as SI when half the worker has disappeared. And Peter is just a college student. They’re supposed to run on caffeine anyway.

He takes his classes online, and is already way ahead from his first months after everything happened, so he’s got plenty of time to play with the giggly girl, sing songs he only remembers parts of from the few memories he has with his own mom, laugh as he tries to introduce her to solid foods and beam with pride when she crawls under the couch to push her ball further away.

#

Something changes, one night. Morgan is sleeping and Pepper is sitting on the couch between Peter’s legs as he massages out the knots in her shoulders and neck. 

It’s not new for them to sit like this with the tv playing in the background, yet something feels very different. Peter can’t quite put words to it, but then Pepper moans as he kneads on a specific spot and  _ oh _ .

He doesn’t stop. That would just be too suspicious, but he’s suddenly very aware of how good her hair smells and how her skin is shining on her shoulders. When she moans again and shifts a little backwards, he’s also reminded of how close she is to his very responding body. He bites his lip, breathes through his nose and prays she won’t notice.

She notices. She has to. Because she keeps wiggling and moaning and then she turns around, kneeling in front of him and Peter is not made to deal with this kind of stuff.

She’s beautiful. Always has been, but there’s something special about seeing her in an old tank top and pajama shorts. No make up, and her strawberry hair in a loose bun on the top of her head. It’s so different from the public CEO everyone else gets to see, and she looks at Peter like he deserves to see her vulnerable and private like this.

“Pete” the whisper is barely audible, even for Peter’s hearing, and her eyes flicker down to his lips. He doesn’t know what his expression is like, because he can barely get a grip on what the hell is happening.

He doesn’t even notice when she leans in, but is vaguely aware of her cold hand cupping his jaw. Her lips are soft, uncertain, and Peter’s brain goes on lock down. He works purely on instinct when he kisses back. He has close to no experience, and it’s clumsy, but filled with so much emotion and love and gratitude that it hardly matters anyway.

The guilt doesn’t settle until the next morning. When he wakes up in Pepper’s bed, with her sound asleep half on top of him, breathing peacefully, and is very, very naked. 

Then Morgan wakes up and the guilt will have to wait.

#

The guilt trip is carefully locked away for much later examination, because Pepper gets up and gives him a good morning kiss. And then a good night kiss. And she doesn’t stop.

#

He moves into her room more permanently, and before he even has a chance to fully catch up, the walls are filled with pictures of Morgan and him, Pepper and Morgan and all three of them together. Peter doesn’t know when half of these pictures are even taken, and he has to think back to when he truly became a family man.

When Morgan calls him dada, he doesn’t want to think too much about it anymore. It doesn’t matter. 

The box of guilt is sitting somewhere deep in his soul, and as time passes and Morgan grows, it doesn’t weigh him down as much as it used to.

#

There’s a soft knock on his lab door and Pepper strolls in before he even gets the chance to lift his head.

“Hey honey” the kiss on his cheek sends shivers down his spine just like every other time, and after almost four years, he doesn’t think he’ll ever not get electrocuted by her touch.

“I have a meeting with a potential merger this afternoon, can you pick up Morgan on your way home?” It’s not like he’d ever say no, but he appreciates her asking anyway. It just makes him love her even more. If that’s even possible.

#

It’s said that nothing good lasts forever. Peter would have been foolish to think that nothing would coma and ruin the peaceful life he has built with Pepper and Morgan.

It comes in the form of a spy, a super soldier and a regular guy with an awesome suit to make him small or big at will. They have a chance at getting everyone back. Peter wants to be eager about the idea. He would get to see his aunt again. Ned. MJ.  _ Mr. Stark _ .

The box of guilt is trying to smother him the next few weeks, as they work on the time machine, because—yeah, time travel is a thing. He  _ invented _ time travel.

Pepper (bless her ability to read him like the open book he is) tries to reassure him that nothing will change between them. That Tony won’t be able to take her back. She’s moved on. She loves him, and nothing will change that. Morgan will still call him dad, even if Tony comes back and wants to be a part of her life. 

Peter still feels like an ass for running off with his mentor’s life. It’s suffocating.

#

Even more foolish than thinking his peaceful life would last, is the thought that time travel won’t have consequences. 

Peter is partially prepared. He hasn’t used any form of Spider-Man costume in five years, but he makes sure the newest version, the one he made specifically for this mission, is prepared for anything.

He’s not prepared to lose Natasha. He didn’t know her that well, but she didn’t deserve to lose her life like that. 

A determined, raging alien hell bent on being the saviour of the universe, however. He’s prepared for that. Morgan and Pepper are hiding in his old apartment with Happy as security, just to be a little safer about it all. Queens is further away from the Avengers compound than the cabin just across the lake, anyway.

#

Seeing all the portals open behind him is so unreal and huge that Peter has a really hard time believing it. But then Mr. Stark is hugging him like his life depends on it, and reality comes crashing down all at once.

He wasn’t necessarily planning on using the stones himself, but watching them lose all over again is just too much, and when Thanos gets the gauntlet, all he can think is that he has a chance to get it right this time.

He rips the stones from the purple maniac and doesn’t even question himself before snapping his fingers. It hurts. It’s hell times a million. Everything’s on fire, but at least everyone is safe now. They won. They got everyone back. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wonders what May will think of Morgan.

“Pete? Pete!” That sounds familiar. Why is the voice so scared? They won. “Pete, look at me” he wants to, but moving hurts. His eyes are heavy. He just needs to rest for a while. Let his healing kick in.

“Honey?” Pepper? What’s she doing here? “Honey, look at me.” Peter has never been good at defying her, so he forces his eyes open, and is met with teary, blue eyes and a sad smile. He wants to wipe it away. Reassure her that everything is fine. But he can’t move, and he can’t get his voice to work. “You did so good, Pete. You saved everyone. I’m so proud of you.”  _ Thank you _ . She kisses him, and it’s like everything falls into place. “I love you.”  _ I love you too _ .


	2. Chapter 2

Five years. Right. Tony's not going to take Dumbledore's word for it. He'll believe it when he sees it.

Seeing Peter with a stubble, broad shoulders and a confidence not even he can pretend to have, is a pretty good wake up call.

_ Five years. _

The years don't mean much when the kid stupidly tries to sacrifice himself for the greater good. The burns creeping up his arm and face makes him sick. The smell of burnt flesh doesn't help. He doesn't look like a grown-up then, but the resigned expression on his face as he leans back against the rubble isn't something he wanted to experience. Ever.

Pepper kissing him and telling him she loves him, with the same resigned expression, isn't on the list, either.

#

It's a lot, and watching Peter hooked up to tubes and wires and beeping machines makes his stomach twist. Pepper doesn't leave his side, so Tony stays on the wrong side of the window. He's not sure if he'd be welcome on the inside right now. 

They can't do anything for him. Other than let his healing work on its own. How badly the lasting effects will be is just wild guessing. He wants to be there for Pepper, hold her and wipe away her tears. He wonders if she shed the same tears for him. 

"Tones… Come on, man. You need some coffee, and some food." Right. At least Rhodey is there. Maybe he can answer some of the million questions whirring in his head. 

Standing by the vending machine in the waiting room, Tony makes eye contact with Happy as he steps out of the elevator with a little girl on his arm. He nods once, but doesn't stop to talk. Just carries the little girl down the hall towards Peter's room.  _ Huh. _

#

"So, you wanna start with the quick update or the long one? I don't mind either, but I need something, because right now, nothing makes any sense."

Rhodey looks at him like what he's about to say will ruin his life. 

It does.

He doesn't know if he wants to kiss Peter for taking care of  _ his  _ Pepper and raising  _ his  _ daughter, or if he wants to punch him for taking over  _ his  _ life.

A rational part of his brain is telling him that antagonizing the young hero is ridiculous. Tony was dead for five years. Of course they moved on.

But Tony has never been good at listening to reason, and apparently, Peter quit the hero gig too, so the loathing settles before he really gets a chance to review the events of what happened while he was gone.

He watches from a distance as Happy returns with the little girl -his little girl- and follows them with his eyes as they make their way back to the elevator and disappears. 

#

Pepper looks at him like she can't really believe he's here. Which -fair. But she hugs him and cries into his shoulder, and a part of him wants to believe that everything will go back to the way it was.

It won't.

He was dead. She moved on. She's helplessly in love with the young man they don't even know will ever wake up. 

But he can meet his daughter --Morgan-- if he wants to.  _ But Peter is still her dad,  _ she says. Tony would be lying if he said it didn't hurt.

#

He gets to stay in Peter's apartment for the time being. Until he gets back on his feet.  _ No one's staying here, anyway,  _ she says. 

It's not fair that May Parker gets a spare room at Pepper's place, and he's stuffed in a cramped, two-bedroom apartment in Queens. Left alone to deal with everything.

When he makes the trip to the cabin the first time, he thinks maybe staying in the bare, brick apartment isn't so bad after all. 

The cabin is filled with a life he's not welcomed in. A happy family life he never thought he wanted for himself.

Yet, looking at the picture of Peter laughing at Morgan with her face filled with chocolate frosting, he kind of wishes he could swap places with him at Titan all those years ago.

Listening to Morgan ramble about how  _ daddy always sings this for me  _ and  _ daddy and I built this together  _ is like a dagger being pierced through his heart.

He hates it, and suddenly turning to dust again wouldn't have been the worst outcome in this twisted reality he's stumbled into.

#

Peter does wake up. Tony wants to be happy. He really does, but something's twisting in his stomach when he watches him through the window. Sitting in the medical bed, propped up on a mountain of pillows, half his face littered in nasty looking scars, and still smiling like nothing ever happened as he helps Morgan read for him and combs through her hair with his deformed hand.

It's so domestic, and it shows just how  _ strong  _ Peter really is. He fits the role of  _ daddy  _ so much more than Tony ever will.

"How are you holding up?" There's a cup of coffee dancing in front of his eyes, disturbing his view of the family on the other side of the glass.

"Great." May raises her eyebrows at him when he turns to give her his famous celebrity smile. She's not buying it.

"It's a lot. No one blames you for needing time to adjust." Tony can see it then. He's not the only one struggling with missing five years. May disappeared with the concerns of parenting a college freshman. And returned to a young man with his own established family and parenting concerns.

"What do you think of all this?"

"I'm not really surprised, now that I know what happened. It was a shock, at first. I feel like I missed every major part of his life, y'know?"

If Tony wasn't so hung up on the fact that Peter is sleeping in a bed that should belong to him, and raising his kid as his own, he might have felt bad for missing out on so much of his mentee's life too.

#

Avoiding the happy family only works for so long. Probably the downside of living in Peter's old apartment.

"Morgan asks about you, y'know" is the first thing he says when he shoulders his way into the small space. "She knows who you are. We never hid that from her."

"I'm sorry, but I don't know how to handle this." Peter has the audacity to pity him. Like he knows what it's like. He has no idea. 

"She's your daughter, Tony."  _ Tony.  _ It sounds so wrong when he says it. There should be a law against him calling Tony anything but  _ Mr. Stark _ . Preferably with the same enthusiasm and hero worshipness he always had before.

" _ Kid _ " Peter's not a kid anymore, but Tony can't seem to let it go. "She calls you daddy. You're her father. Not me." He winces as soon as the words leave his mouth. The wrongness of it all. The reality is taking a stronger hold. Peter is a grown man. With a family. A daughter. Trying to hold on to the fantasy of anything else is just pointless.

"I'm so sorry, Tony." It's the last thing he says before he backs out. It feels like maybe there's a finality to it.

Tony moves out of the apartment after that.

#

He buries himself in work. Making upgrades and new gadgets for the avengers. It's at least a little distraction from his catastrophe of a miserable life.

#

He gets a wedding invite in his mail. A perfect picture of Peter and Pepper smiling happily at each other. It feels like they're just mocking him at this point.

He throws it away and spends the night vomiting whiskey.

He goes to the wedding anyway. Just to torture himself with how beautiful Pepper looks in the form fitting white dress, shining like a star and happier than he could ever make her.

#

He's startled awake from his slumber on the couch by something cold and wet hitting his face. He rolls out and lands on the floor in surprise, groaning as he sits up.

He's even more surprised to find Pepper looming over him with a water bottle in her hand, looking majorly unimpressed. He's not about to ask how she got in.

"Miss Potts. Mrs. Parker. Potts-Parker." He rubs his eyes, and winces at his own words. "What can I do for you?" 

She throws her arms out and rolls her eyes, and that's when Tony sees the small bump on her stomach.  _ Wow. _

"Get your ass up from the floor, Tony. I have accepted that you don't want anything to do with your daughter. I kind of get it. But then Rhodey calls me. Apparently you've shut everyone out. It's been three years. You can't go on like this."

_ Three years?  _ That can't be right. He opens his mouth to say exactly that, but is met with Pepper's raised eyebrow, and promptly snaps it shut.

"You need to get a grip on your life. You can't spend your second chance like this. You won't live forever. We didn't risk everything to bring you back, just to have you wither away in your own pity." Ouch.

Tony doesn't know what to say to that, but Natasha's funeral pops into his head, and he feels so guilty he wants to throw up.

#

He never thought a picture of Peter would be his turning point. But seeing him beaming with such pride as he looks down at his newborn son, Morgan hanging over his shoulder with the same proud eyes… it does something to him.

There's something so magical about it, and it makes him want to prove to someone, anyone, that he can have that happiness too.

His life's not perfect. Far from it. But he's gonna make an effort. He can't spend the rest of his life miserable because the people in his life are happy.


End file.
